Behind my eyes, you will find love. It has always been there, taking different forms, increasing and decreasing in strength; hiding sometimes and retreating in defence, but always tangible and always safe. It helps me to see the world in its true colours; magically kicking in when everything turns grey and sad. Just when I'm about to let go to the troubles of this world, just as I'm about to give in, it comes like a shining light, an invisible beacon that touches everything for a moment, to reveal itself in every single person and in every single object. And then I can smile again.

Behind my eyes you will find sorrow. It sits there quietly, mixed with expectations and disappointments, naivety and heartache. Every day a piece of it awakens, sometimes all by itself, sometimes by the changes in people and the world that surrounds me. It enjoys pointing out all the wrongs others have done to me and all the greed and selfishness I ignore because of love I have for the world. It mocks my own ideals, and it feeds of that dull pain in my heart when I just don’t understand.

Behind my eyes you will find guilt and shame that have no reason to be there at all. After all, why should I feel guilty for the actions of others? Why should I feel ashamed when the forest behind my parent’s house disappears and turns into a road while I was away from home? Why should I look away from my own reflection in the mirror, feeling guilty for the crimes of every living soul on this planet? I have no reason to, but I do. Hence, the guilt and the shame’s silent whispers burden me and I feel as if I have no choice over it, although I know it’s a burden I took upon myself.

Behind my eyes you will find rivers and mountains; lakes and oceans; clouds and skies; sunrises and sunsets. You will find beauty that touches even the most ignorant souls and ugliness that I so desperately try to hide from myself. In there, there are smiles and gratitude of every person I ever made a bit happier; songs of everyone whose life I made better, even if just for a little while. And right there, right next to that, is seemingly infinite lake of my regrets. For some reason I store every disappointment, every angry word said to me; every tear and all the pain I ever caused or triggered. For some reason, I blame myself even for the failures of others. For every kind word, every solid advice I gave but was not listened, I suffer. For all the struggles of people, my friends and those I never met, I suffer. It is well hidden, there behind my eyes; just a small dark speck in the green field of love. It is something I carry in silence, not really understanding why or how I choose to do so.

Behind my eyes you will find joy. It’s a contagious force and I love when it breaks free, spreading its influence around me, touching strangers and friends alike. It grows when I realize how wonderful we all really are, and how much alike. It shrinks a bit when I forget it, but it never disappears and never fails to surprise me with its strength and endurance. It is the very force behind my will to exist sometimes. It is a reason and a cause for my continuous search for the Truth. It is a part of me I love the most, and it expands exponentially with every kind word I receive and every smile I bring out in someone else. It is a root of my willingness to inspire and move; it is what keeps my heart open and I reason I refuse to hide.

Behind my eyes…

I am old. I have been here from the Dawn of Mankind. I have seen mountains rising, lakes and rivers disappearing, forests turning old and dark.

I am thousands and thousands of years old. I do not remember how I got to be, only that at one moment, eons ago, I simply was. For many years, I have just been watching, observing the world changing around me, not aware of what it is I was brought here to do. And, after all this time, I still don’t know. But I have lived all along, being a part of this world; being a part of this world’s changes. I walked the entire planet hundreds of times; feeling its pulse under my feet; inhaling its breath. I have set foot in the hidden parts of the globe, places unvisited by people even in their modern days.

I climbed every hilltop and every mountain peak. I swam in every ocean and every sea; touched every shore, brushed every tree. I was there, every time a volcano erupted; seen every storm and danced with every tornado.
And I am still here.

I remember clearly how excited I was when the humans started evolving, learning new tricks and passing their newly accumulated knowledge to their children. I lived among the animals of this planet for so long and yet, I could not foresee the potential of this specific species. From the shadows I have watched them create an easier, better life’s for themselves and their future generations. I enjoyed their success, I cried at their wars. For someone not human, I felt to be as much a part of them as I possibly could. They flourished. They travelled, expanding beyond their own limitations and expectations. The communities turned into tribes, then into villages, cities and states. They were many, and they divided themselves based on criteria I could not see or understand. Still, they progressed. For most of them, lives become easy and comfortable, though pointless. They drove around in machines, they flew higher than birds; they even left the gravitational embrace of this wonderful planet.

And then I watched them destroy it all in a blink.

It all happened so quickly. I have lived among them for a thousand years, and yet, I did not see it happening until it was too late. I watched them grow distant, from themselves and from the Nature they were a part of. For some reason, they wanted to escape their own roots, ignore the unity of mind and matter that works so flawlessly with everything else on this planet. They wanted more of everything by giving less and less. They dug their mines, extracting Earth’s flesh and ley their pipes, ever thirsty for her blood. And they never stopped, up till the very end.
They took everything and gave nothing in return.

I was there when the last generation of people that could enjoy the beauty of this planet forgot to teach their own children how to do it. It was but a blink of an eye for me, but I felt it and it hurt more than anything I have ever felt before. I was there when Nature took over, hurt and wounded as she was, trying to regain some control. People still fought her, even though many more would survive if they just realized what they have done.
I was there when balance shifted. I felt it in my core, for I was the part of this world as much it was the part of me. I could imagine Nature’s tears as she did what she had to do. No matter what, the planet will survive. Human beings, slaves of their own comfort and technology, were nothing but collateral victims of a war they themselves created and had no chance of winning anyway.

I saw the fires, I felt the winds, and I endured the droughts and faced the ice at the end of it all, as I did many times before. Some of them survived, but most were simply wiped out. Eventually, in time… they were all gone.
I miss them, if that word applies to something un-human as me. I thought they can do so much more good.
But I was wrong.
And I am still here.

It was a cold evening, one of those that surprises you right after the summer days are gone, but before the autumn ones really start. I was walking, lost in the music playing in my ears, just thinking in the beat of my own steps on the hard asphalt. It wasn’t late, but it was dark already and the road ahead of me was a blurry line of light and dark circles. Up ahead, one street light just died, ruining the evenness of it all.

Suddenly, a girl appeared in front of me, speeding somewhere. I watched her walking. She was smaller than me, but her steps were long and fast and I was wondering where she is going in such a hurry. Out of the dark patch a young boy stepped out. He was maybe seventeen, eighteen years old. They stopped for a second, facing each other, and then continued walking at a certain distance in front of me, blissfully unaware of my existence and the world around them as only teenagers can be. They were a fresh couple, I realized and smiled. They haven’t even held hands yet, although it was clear that they both want it.

Come on, I thought, hold her hand... hug her...
But he didn’t. At one point she stopped to tie her shoelace and as she was getting up, he offered his hand and she took it. It lasted a second, maybe two, but even in the darkness, I could swear I’ve seen them both blush.

Up ahead, a crossroad will probably take them somewhere else, but I couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about them.

Be good to her, I told him in my thoughts.... and you be good to him, I told her. You may not know that yet now, but good love is so hard to find, and so damn hard to keep. Be good to each other. It feels like you have all the time in the world now, but years go by so fast! You may not care right now, but you will miss this feeling later in life; the feeling of careless love and selfless wonder. That feeling that you feel towards this girl in front of you – it’s priceless, precious and it fades away faster than you think. Fight hard to keep it, fight with everything you got!

Be good to her, unknown young man.
Look deep in her eyes and remember every dream you find there and help her to make it come true. Don’t be too proud to say you are sorry or too cool to hold her hand in front of your male friends. Hold her tight, as tight as you can, as if she might disappear if you don’t, because somehow, Life will try to snatch her away from you. Make every second with her count because one day you will realize that those were the fullest, strongest seconds of your life.

Be good to him, unknown young woman.
Forgive him if he is too proud to touch you or understand you when all you need is someone to hold you and tell you everything will be all right. Just pull him in if he doesn’t understand. And, be proud of him, he will love you for it. Don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel... make him understand you are and always will be here for him. Be his friend, as well as his lover. Give him time when he needs it and above everything else, never make him wonder if you love him or not. Kiss him at the most unexpected moments and smile if you catch him off-guard. Make every second with him count because one day you will realize that those were the fullest, strongest seconds of your life.

They turned left, I continued straight. Soon, I wasn’t able to see them anymore, or hear their laughter mixing with the music in my earphones. I don’t know it my message got through, but I know they are happy now, as they should be. I wished them the eternity of happy and dissolved in the music.

The Moon raised above the cloud, greeting the night with his light.
The world moved on.

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And a huge, huge to everyone that read this... and many more to anyone that feels a bit lonely or lost...

I was walking this evening, as I always do… observing the birds, feeling the wind on my cheeks, aware and expecting the rain to finally cool the hot summer days and bring me some much needed sleep. I was lost in the music in my ears that flew perfectly with the rhythm of my steps, pushing me even deeper in my head. And then the thought came, of something crazy I did long time ago.
It was as if that was some other me and some other lifetime. When was the last time I did something crazy?

I was flooded by memories, pushed faster by past ideas and reasoning long left behind. A stale, inert layer of me was stripped away by the force of old ideas reborn. How could have I forgot this? How could have I left something so important behind?

We need to be crazy a bit, to keep our sanity. We need to let ourselves go from time to time and just be fools for a moment. We need the childish part of us to wake up and remind us that life is much more than what we are living at the moment.

So, wake up! Be crazy… walk in the rain, with your swimming goggles on; through the center of your city. Climb the trees in the park and build castles in the sand with the kids. Bark at dogs and let your tongue hang out. Speak in a language no one around you understands or, even better, make up your own. Drop some ice-cream on your t-shirt and pretend you don't notice people looking at it. Smile randomly to everyone in the street.

Be crazy.
And then come back and try to stop smiling




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a BIG to everyone that needs it!!! just ask for more if you need
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Everyone knows how precious it is. Everyone is aware of its power to open doors and help people feel better.

Where does it come from, that mix of specific facial expression and a feeling of joy it comes from/with?
Is it just something on the surface or it comes from within? How come it’s infectious?

Have you ever wondered what the very first smile looked like? Was there such a thing - a very first smile?
What do you think?